I moved to Leeds in August 2004 homeless, I had been living with a friend of my brother’s over near Halifax for two months but because of my stupidity through booze he threw me out so I came to housing advice here and they got me a place, fair enough it was a bad area and sharing with other drinkers but at least I had a roof over my head. I had actually slept on a bench in Brighouse bus station a couple of nights, something that I don’t EVER want to happen again. Up till November 2006 I’d had drink problems on and off for about 10 years, I was always trying to control it hating the thought of a life without alcohol, I’d be scared at the thought of managing social events without it. But when I tried to like just have a drink on a Saturday night it would quite easily lead onto a bender for days, making myself so sick when I stopped drinking.
My last bender stopped on the 4th November 2006, I had been drinking cheap cider in the flat for days, on the 1st November I’d actually got barred from the irish pub where I used to watch the Celtic games because last time I’d been in I picked up a mobile phone that wasn’t mine, something I wouldn’t dream of doing sober. So come the 4th I just couldn’t keep anymore cider down, I had the sickness for a few days, then I started to get dehydrated, uneasy on my feet, even walking to the bathroom became near impossible, I actually collapsed one night trying to walk and ended up sleeping on the floor all night because I couldn’t get back up. Anyway, I’d told my mum on bonfire night that I’d come off it and next thing I knew I was coming round in hospital on the 20th November.
My mum who lives up in Scotland hadn’t heard from me for a few days and started to get worried so she phoned my brother who lives nearby. He didn’t get any response to knocking the door so made the decision to phone the police who broke down the door and I was found in a very bad way. I was conscious but can’t remember being taken out in the ambulance or anything, I was found with severe dehydration, hypothermia, acute renal failure and my nervous system was also in a bad way, I couldn’t walk. I had intense physiotherapy in the 2 weeks I was in hospital to be able to walk again. So I had that time to reflect on what had happened, I remember lying in bed when I couldn’t walk and my dad came down from Scotland to see me and I was in tears because I really did believe at that moment that I would not be able to walk again, I even had a catheter fitted, I was basically in a pensioner like state, and that was one hell of a shock at 30 years old I can tell you. When I was taking my first steps I was even using a zimmer frame round the ward for gods sake!!! How embarrassing!!! The nurse had also told my dad that if I hadn’t been found within 24 hours I would’ve been a goner.
Anyway, come the 5th December I was ready to be discharged, and to tell you the truth I was so scared to go back into the big bad world especially with Christmas and new year just round the corner. I just wanted to be kept in hospital till the new year but I knew I had to find my inner strength and go back to the flat where I so nearly died the month before. I was still using a walking stick and the taxi dropped me off at the flat and as I put the key in the lock I thought “You can do this Markie, You know its over for you and booze”. As I closed the door and walked to the top of the stairs the place was stinking from the smell I had left in my bad state. But over the next few days I got the whole place cleaned and that was the start of my new life, a life FREE of alcohol.
Next day I got myself back to ADS who I’d been with since late 2004 and with their support I got back on my feet, and I haven’t had a drop since November 2006. I’ve been a peer supporter at ADS since March 2007 and I’m passionate about a career in helping others in the same situation I was, I’ve been doing short courses at Northern College just outside Barnsley which I recommend to anyone reading this. I’m also hoping to get onto the Bridging the Gap and Widening Horizons courses that ADS run. And all this will lead into a career which I’m determined to succeed in.
Through the years of relationships suffering, lots of jobs lost through alcohol, lots of health scares, in trouble with the police, money problems etc and nearly paying the ultimate price of dying, I have FINALLY managed to conquer my problems and I tell you, it’s the best feeling in the world knowing that you have your life back. Thank you ADS for all your support. GET IN!!!